Never force a child to say sorry

At last, at last. I have always believed in this but finally, an article that explains it perfectly and gives steps to follow!

“Good” days

I’ve been having a couple of “good” days with the children. I’m not sure if I’ve accomplished much with them (gosh, that’s so teacher-centred!) but they were incredibly peaceful doing the work they wanted to do. On Wednesday, I was making materials. I allowed my 8 year old to cut them (she was very proud to be trusted with the task of “making materials” which I’m so particular about). Meanwhile, my 2 year old was busy (for a good 45 minutes) cutting up paper and my 5 year old was sorting the card material into the drawers of one of those multi-drawer tool boxes.

Then today, I forgot that a student was coming and yet, again it was a good day. My 5 year old settled him to do the pink tower and some threading of beads. Then the former went to do his favourite average work whilst the latter engaged in his favourite animals of the continents work. Meanwhile, my 8 year old wrote a letter to a friend in the US and thereafter starting copying all the Chinese words she could find on Chinese red packets and Chinese New Year cards.

We ended off with some songs (which I am ashamed I do so little of with the children in the co-op. My own children get their fill with all the cds they manipulate). It was a good day.

Students’ research

A fantastic question came up today on Montessori_online. How do we guide research? Children often drift from topic to topic. How do we get them to “complete” a research project.

Aleta Ledendecker has a brilliant way: to have a “Great Brain Fair” where children plan, research and upon completion, display their finds to their friends and family after a few weeks. A great way to motivate children. I most certainly want to look into that.

Sharon Caldwell, on the other hand, came up with some philosophical points that, I must say, make a lot of sense to me. I suddenly realised that often, I am uncomfortable with “making” a child complete a research topic. And yet, I wonder if children need more support than we realize? Perhaps what I should do then is continue to allow the children to spontaneously flit from topic to topic BUT give a separate lesson on how to complete a research project…. That will definitely require some creative thinking. More food for thought….

Below is Sharon’s post:

“This issue of “projects” and “finishing” is something that has interested me for a while – as I saw exactly the same thing in our school. To me it seems that we need to ask *why* we want children to do projects. This relates to
what do we mean by “finished”? I think there are a lot of factors and children may be picking topics for projects simply because they need to to projects – they weren’t really interested in the broader topic at all – or
the topic is too broad … lots of different factors, which may be different for different children. If the goal is to give the child the broadest possible spread of “seeds” for learning as Dr. Montessori describes in her
then we need to question what we mean by “finsihed”. The idea is to provide a deep interest and stimulate curiosity, not necessarily get a completed finished product — but that leads us back to the question of whether we see
learning as process or product. Learning as product does not fit well with the understanding of indirect preparation and planting seeds. A finished project, in a sense says “Been there, done that!” rather than I was
interested in horses, now I’m interested in Antarctica – but I can go back and find out more about any of them at any time.

So I am thinking of myself here – I move from topic to topic in reading and writing and probably only 20% of the articles I start writing end up completed – but the 80% uncompleted ones always feed into those that are completed.

So rather than “researching a project” I would say the idea should be to provide lots of opportunities for learning about different things in different ways, and supporting that learning in multiple ways. Learning how
to do a project may be one thing you can learn – maybe separately of the actual content? I remember when my son was learning how to do powerpoints – he designed his style first and then chose “spices” as the topic because it
went well with the style he had chosen! He wasn’t interested in the content at all. I’d posit that putting too much emphasis on getting finished products could limit the range of learning for some children. [Others may
enjoy doing short projects – others long projects – some may prefer a lot of grazing.] Are we wanting the same type of product from everyone?

Another thought is that, by asking children to commit to something we are asking them to know what they will be interested in before they really know what it is about. They don’t possibly know all the aspects of a topic – so
for example a child who wants to do a project on horses may actually want to learn to ride – starts the project and realises it is a poor substitute for what she wants and moves on to something else. I would, personally love to
visit Antarctica but have very little interest in reading about it. What I am trying to get to is that a real understanding of why children don’t like finishing projects (and will seldom do so unless there is some real
compulsion or force to make them) may be more useful in supporting learning than finding ways of achieving what looks to us adults a completed product.

Sharon”.

Aggression in Montessori children

It always frustrates me when people allow their sons to hit other children on the basis that boys “are like that” and we should allow that to happen. That aside, warfare always creeps into a child’s life no matter what you do and I have to say I have always thought doing Airfix was a neat thing for a Montessorian child to do (hoping to ignore the fact that these planes carried bombs).

So what do you do when children pretend to shoot one another or even “kill”? Banning seemed to be the easiest way and yet it does not truly help – it suppresses a need (that you need to figure out) or makes the forbidden fruit sweeter.

So, this article was pretty interesting. There are no easy answers….

Plans for next year

I actually started this blog mainly so that I can keep all the resources and ideas that really speak to me all at one place. So I’m writing it here before I forget!

GREAT LESSONS!

that is the main thing I need to prepare for the class. To create the black strip, look at the available history materials and obviously prepare the presentations (esp God with No Hands and the Coming of Life)

PROJECTS

this is a nut to crack. I’m a homeschooler. Children don’t readily come to this co-op so I have few children to work with. But Projects will excite them. I NEED IDEAS!!!!! I am wondering if some homeschoolers would like to come over and join in the projects during specific times over the course of the year…..

This will also provide the much-needed application of math concepts we are going to learn or have learnt.

BIOLOGY

Will delve into Priscilla Spears’ tree of life chart with the 10 going to be 11 year old and the more in-depth stuff.

MORE PLANNING

design work plans (simple ones) covering basic areas and have a space for the child to write details there.

Include a space for projects and a special goal
homework
reading list
spelling list
library books taken out

Have my own work plan for the children. I tried to go with the flow but the children (especially the ones without the Montessori background) were actively engaged but not stretched. I now realise it is because they weren’t shown enough presentations to know they could go further (well, that’s what I hope). It will, to a large extent, also follow the national curriculum but will cover topics beyond if they are ready for the work. Of course, the plan will be flexible.

Hope this works out!

Overriding the “no”‘s

I felt justified over-riding one of the children’s “no”‘s because everytime I did, she took great joy in doing the work.

So, when I was about to post a question on my favourite yahoo group on the issue of not imposing our will on children, from that perspective, it dawned on me what I should be doing.

1) allow children to say no most of the time. Why? They need to know that life is not about being controlled by somebody, whether an adult, a higher authority or a peer. They need to feel safe from domination. SO easier said than done. Someone not from a Montessori background will say – that’ll create a group of spoilt brats. So, therein lies the difference. The Montessori method respects the child’s ability to say no with great big BUTs. (freedom within limits) So I really should have let that child say no. (Of course, this rule does not apply where danger is involved)

2) If I can’t allow the child say no (eg due to some complex reasons involving time constraints) – then what? Well, take a breath… and try your best to let the child say no. Of course, as they are at the age of reason – you could tell them your reason why it has to be now – and if they bite, good. But if not, graciously accept it.

3) I should plan my work better. I should use some tools such as:

i) observing them more closely to see if there really could have been a better time to give that presentation
ii) try to create a habit where they are used to getting presentations at a certain time of the day so that they feel comfortable and know that other than that specific time, they can get on with what they want to do. Sort of like practising a routine so that they know what to expect.
iii) obviously have a better work plan and tracking system.
iv) spend more time working on exciting the children. Can’t remember, but didn’t Montessori use the word “seduce”?
If children say no, perhaps there’s also a way of asking or enticing them to a work I have not tried.

Funny it took me the time to write the question to actually figure all this out.

And I still have so much more to learn.

Reflections on the year

It’s been a most interesting year. The greatest lesson I’ve learnt is that there can be no real learning unless the children feel safe. Safe from a dominating, overly controlling teachers who speak through gritted teeth or demand immediate obedience without reason just because we know what’s best for them. I’m speaking of myself, of course. I journeyed through this year, realising that there is so much more work to be done. As a guide, I need to keep things light, to turn “no”s into “yes”-es without making the child feel like he is being forced to do something. Yes, we sometimes know what’s best. But we need to keep humble and realise an important rule of Montessori – if something is not going “right”, WAIT first before intervening and OBSERVE. Do not be too quick to intervene. Most times, the children will sort themselves out. Even if they don’t, they need the time and YOUR trust to do so. Like the child learning to walk. It’s really all the same. We just think it isn’t.

Another lesson I learned is that children need tools, tools, tools – for everything. Presenting materials to them and “leaving them to choose their work” doesn’t always work. Sometimes, the child does not have the ability to choose. And if so, they need tools and support! This is especially so for those children who join a Montessori environment at an older age and come from a very adult-directed background.

That said, children do learn on their own and it’s been wonderful to see the 6-year-old help herself to food 3 times over and finish the food quickly (she often brings an adult-packed lunch and takes over an hour to eat). We hardly did anything. And then the children slowly became more peaceful, again, with few presentations in that area (although they still need them), and included the younger children or special needs child into their playtime.

I do wish I had more materials at my disposal. It is so hard to keep up with a class of such varied ages (even though it is a tiny class – every child is so vastly different from the rest). I must stock up on more great lessons next year and delve more into Geography and History.

It’s a learning journey and I am thankful for all who are part of that journey, every parent and every child.

How to inject new life into existing materials – musings

Command cards!

So often I hear children say, “Oh, I’ve done that before.” But the materials are never exhausted. There are endless possibilities. The unfortunate thing that often happens is that you present the material, they work on it once, exactly the way you show them and then, they say they are done. Of course, a lot of this is to do with how you present the material to the child and whether you have observed the child to see whether he/she is ready or interested in doing the work. Sometimes, it’s just to do with the “been there, done there” culture so prevalent today. Well, that’s where we, as parents or guides, come in.

Thanks to command cards, they get a renewed lease of life! The 6yo today had fun doing one exercise using the triangle box and thereafter, she and my 5yo decided to carry on making shapes and tracing them onto a white piece of paper and colouring them thereafter. There is a part of me that would have been so caught up with “Oh, is this Montessori? Is this what a child ‘should’ be doing?” I suppressed that part of me today and was therefore able to enjoy the moment, like the children do.

I like the fact that I’m not bound by any obligation to teach children things at specific moments. The other day, I tried to “get” the 8yo to do subtraction with the golden beads. Actually, she didn’t want to and I went ahead anyway (never ever a good idea – but sometimes the worry that she won’t be prepared for her exams gets to me). Well, when laying out the minuend, she decided to construct a cube made out of 8 thousands… and that made me remember how only 8000 is a cube but 800 isn’t and so on (she didn’t look like she really wanted to do subtraction). So I took the opportunity to explore those concepts with her. I asked a lot of “wonder questions” (something we do in CGS a lot) – I wonder if 800 makes a cube, I wonder if…. and finally, somehow – we got to constructing part of the framework for a 1,000,000 cube (I don’t have enough 1000 cubes to build the full thing) – and just sat with her and marvelled at the size a 1,000,000 cube….

I really really enjoy it when I’m doing stuff like that with the children, but I’m constantly worried whether they will be able to do their exams. I know that tonnes of real learning is occurring, but the fact is, they have to take those standardized tests that expect you to have covered specific topics at specific times. I guess it is a journey for me to find out how to entice the children to continue enjoying their explorations and yet “get” them to cover the topics that they need to….

Spelling and the path to abstraction

Sharon Caldwell posted this at Montessori on-line – in response to  questions about teaching spelling to an older child:

“What is the sensitivity of this age group? – a fascination with rules and why and wherefore. So, let us for one minute ditch the
misconception that English spelling is irrational and that there are too many exceptions – there are not. The rules follow the origin of the words the words with Celtic origins are generally spelled one way, those with French origins another, Greek another and Latin another. So exploring the meaning and origin of words give sense to the spelling – the type of sense that children on the second plane are looking for.

A good place to start is with the Spalding list that gives 29 spelling rules that cover the large majority of words. Learn one rule a day and in a month you can spell. This is what two home-schooled, ex Montessori children I advise have done and it is wonderful. Learn five words a week and, well, it is a lifetime before you learn to spell all the words you need.

jensclassonline.com/index_files/Spalding.pdf

Another thing which I think someone else may have mentioned is to learn to touch-type – so to go back to my favorite invention (spellchecker). If your daughter starts learning to touch-type and she makes a mistake she gets the red underline … goes back to check the word, and has to think about the spelling (either using the right click for opitons – then she needs to make a choice) or use a dictionary. This is intelligent – not simply drill and kill – it is also involving the hands so her fingers get to learn the spelling at the same time as her brain. If she keeps watching the keyboard she can simply cover her hands with a scarf.

So it turns out to be very much a Montessori question. I have seen way too many Montessori schools trying to teach spelling in the same old boring and irrelevant way it is taught in regular schools. Homeschoolers, on the other hand, tend to opt for the approach I have outlined above, which is, ironically, far more in line with Montessori.”

Gosh! This, again, fells, so right! It is a God-send.  I do think some children are just more “natural” when it comes to spelling and some children less so, but Sharon, as always – is spot-on! The 10-year-old in my class is constantly interested in rules and for a long time, I was silly enough to try to get him to learn things intuitively, which I notice younger children do so easily.  We just need to meet children where they are at, and I wasn’t doing that.  Somehow, the younger children (and I mean early elementary) are still sort of in an “in-between” phase – they want to learn things abstractly but are still able to intuit concepts by working on the materials.  The 10-year-old, on the other hand, is just about beyond that.  He wants to know the reasons behind things and approaches this abstractly.  I gave him the 29 rules today and he seemed happy to receive them.  Meanwhile, I’ve also introduced some geometry cards to him (from Conceptual Learning – absolutely great!) and he’s been teaching himself geometry nomenclature (he didn’t have the benefit of an earlier Montessori background) – but at HIS level, i.e. abstractly, without the geometric cabinet.  He is enjoying those a lot.

I wonder if he’ll enjoy the geometric stick material, though.  I think deep down, we can all still learn things sensorially (and sometimes, we just need to approach it from that perspective).  I can’t wait to show him that!

Spiritual Preparation of the teacher

That inner peace I was just talking about… check out this wonderful article by John Snyder, a seasoned and respected Montessorian.